Eclipses are notorious as being illumination points for any and all kinks and inefficiencies in life. They have a way for popping things off and moving along processes. Often in unexpected ways.
This post is an example or how eclipses work as told in a personal story.
During the last eclipse pair, I had to close my school because the company it was hosted on started charging way more money per month that I could not cover AND it withheld the email list hostage under another huge charge to access it. Thankfully I had been planning a move so people had been told since six months before that we would be leaving. The Eclipse precise alignment brought it forward very suddenly and without the opportunity to go back.
At the same window my old website (that I had also been phasing out) pretty much stopped working. I think it had been not working for a while but instead of telling me people just moved on.
I contacted the administrative people on both sites. No help. In fact I got pinged around on automated emails and spammed with no answer emails for about a month on a very simple issue. Thus, with the money mongering and inability to get help on even basic function, I had no choice but to close both down.
In both cases, the eclipse helped me see it all very clearly. It was rough and felt very challenging to let go of what I had put so much heart into and to have to do so quickly. To basically let go of everything. The moment came during the exact alignment of the first while I was standing in a stream having finally received the callback I had waited weeks for that told me nothing. (That precise. Really.)
As I was doing it, I knew to trust the path. I have had a lot of eclipse rocks in the windows and though sometimes blunt, they often bring us to something much better than before.
Let go of both, I did. Into the abyss as a creator with no website or school I went. My first time having this experience without students since my early 20s. My first time with no platform and no plans for writing. It was freeing but also brutal. I love what I do. In order to keep doing it, this hard look was necessary.
Over the past six months since the last eclipse pair, I have been slowly building. Starting all over again. Getting to find new ways to express messages and to see what feels good. It turns out, as the world changed I have too. My ways of talking about this too have. A lot.
In the place of the old website, I built 2 more. (This being one of them.) So too did I rebuild my school. (I love the hosts of both so much more than where I was before.) Over these months I have been testing and playing and seeking new ways of creating. To be different. To inspire more. A highlight has been seeing what is available to build song and image sharing with, because that is really my thing. (Anyone who has met me knows well my love of music.)
Beginning Again, Again
As we make our way into this eclipse gateway, I feel excited. I am about to release a course that I am really proud of, I have a scribbler full of ideas, new skills in hand. My ‘big problem’ right now is deciding which idea to talk about first. I feel energized and renewed. Sure, there is uncertainty in the path but what is new? I trust my skills and where they have brought me before. It will happen again, anew.
I share this little personal story because we have all had these moments where it feels like what we love the most is crumbling and disappearing. Sometimes it really is. Sometimes it is because there is something different (better) around the corner. In the experience of my many heart ripped out moments, I can say aside from some very sad (real) circumstances, it is more often than not the case.
In the months between these eclipse pairs, I have seen a lot of what was not working from the past. Lessons learned, new path charted. From what felt like rubble (but I knew was not), I rebuilt. Now, as we move into this new pair, I feel good.
So. If you are in a rough place. If you are experiencing the blow up. Do what you can to cauterize the wound, learn what you can, and get on to something better. You are worth it. It feels terrible, awful, and confusing until it is not. The planets and their path help us see through it all.
I will be here on this blog and most especially my Instagram sharing posts to inspire daily connection.
*Stay tuned for more eclipse coverage*. There is an Eclipse meditation coming. The platform I made it on had an issue and they are still down. Graciously they are sending me the file sometime soon.
*working to build up my new Instagram page. Please follow @crowmedicinekatie and help me out.
#eclipse #mindfulness #spirituality #selfcare #awareness #lessonslearned #lessons #astrology